day 8: emotion v. obedience

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practicality hit me today. square in the mouth, too. how in the world do i worship, much less lead others in worship, when i absolutely don't feel like it?

right before convo, i got some news that disappointed me and put me in a pretty bad mood. strike that, i was straight out bummed, from head to toe. i was disappointed because plans i had made fell through. it wasn't all that important in all reality, i guess, but it was important to me.

when i get truly down, people tend to notice because i'm usually upbeat even if i'm in a "bad mood".

i'm standing there thinking, i feel like crap right now and i don't wanna do this today. and then this voice chimes in and says, don't you remember this surrender thing? isn't this the first chance in your so difficult life to put this in practice?

and today, in convo nonetheless, i worshiped. i didn't just play music. and i felt nothing like doing it. it was a pretty cool thing.

i don't think God call us to "feel it" all the time. what He calls us to is obedience. then, when i don't "feel it", i can still be useful to God.

obedience, to me, is a defense against my crazy overworked emotions. and i'm glad i don't have to rely on those.

boy, they're trouble...


Juliann said...

I would just like to say thank you. I really don't even know how I ended up on your site, but I am having the crappiest day right now and kind of tired of hearing everyone tell me that it will get better. Only God can make me happy, but I have to let him. Reading your honesty about just not being in the right mood made me feel comfortable, like "ok I'm normal." Here at Liberty it seems like everyone is always in a good mood and was nice to hear your story today. Thank you!

Harrison said...

Hey there Juliann,
thats cool to hear that this stuff I write actually matters to people sometimes. glad i could be an encouragement. the thing we need the most of in christianity today is more blunt honesty....