a deep look into the mirror

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i have just been rocked. read this-
from donald miller's "searching for God knows what":


"I've a friend who overheard his wife on the phone with another man. She did not know he was in the house, and he walked up behind her, leaned against the door frame to hear her confess her love and enjoyment of the other man's touch. My friend drove around Baltimore in a daze; he went into coffee shops and sat with his head in his hands. He went to a bus station and bought a ticket to Pittsburgh but he missed the bus, sick from smoking a pack of cigarettes. Instead, he spent an hour in the bathroom vomiting yellow muck into a filthy toilet.

Our systematic theology reduces the fall of man to a technical act of betrayal. We hardly think of it as relational at all. But I think this view distorts what actually happened. I think God must have felt like my friend in Baltimore. I think it was something terribly painful for God to endure. I don't think we can understand the pain a pure love would feel after being betrayed by the focus of its love. You wouldn't think God would forgive them at all."


when i read this, i think i physically swayed at the enormity of this. i realized to some small degree what my sin is and what it means to God. i don't really have much else to say. just... this idea is too much for anyone to understand fully. betrayal is a terrible, sickening thing.

2 comments:

Travis Doucette said...

this is a great description of just a fraction of the pain we must cause God. your post reminded me of what 'true repentance' is and how the ultimate betrayal has been when I have 'truly repented' or at least thought I had, only to repeat the same sin, the same way all over again. I think a proper understanding of sin can help develop a natural hatred for it, and an increasing desire to love and honour God more than anything else. this is all starting to remind me of Paul's words in Romans VII. Great chapter . . . God help us to stop hurting you and to instead, live in the power of the Spirit. Amen.

- Travis (from Canada) www.xanga.com/travychristmas

alicia said...

you're giving away the book! I read Blue Like Jazz, and now I'm on the quest to read ALL of Miller's other books...yet i read your blog and you are ruining my future experience.

haha, i actually think it's a great thing that you are commenting on his stuff. He had some really good points (and why wouldn't he?) in BLJ, so I imagine his others are just as invigorating...therefore, you have every reason to blog about them.

alicia