repost: 11.08.05

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i have just been rocked. read this-
from donald miller's "searching for God knows what":

"I've a friend who overheard his wife on the phone with another man. She did not know he was in the house, and he walked up behind her, leaned against the door frame to hear her confess her love and enjoyment of the other man's touch. My friend drove around Baltimore in a daze; he went into coffee shops and sat with his head in his hands. He went to a bus station and bought a ticket to Pittsburgh but he missed the bus, sick from smoking a pack of cigarettes. Instead, he spent an hour in the bathroom vomiting yellow muck into a filthy toilet.

Our systematic theology reduces the fall of man to a technical act of betrayal. We hardly think of it as relational at all. But I think this view distorts what actually happened. I think God must have felt like my friend in Baltimore. I think it was something terribly painful for God to endure. I don't think we can understand the pain a pure love would feel after being betrayed by the focus of its love. You wouldn't think God would forgive them at all."

when i read this, i think i physically swayed at the enormity of this. i realized to some small degree what my sin is and what it means to God. i don't really have much else to say. just... this idea is too much for anyone to understand fully. betrayal is a terrible, sickening thing.

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