Up and Down

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My life is very interesting these days. One minute I am admiring God's beauty and loving life in general, everything "clicking" and falling in place, and the next minute I am crying out to God for his peace which surpasses all understanding to come and just free me to go to sleep. Something has me on tilt, throwing off the balance of my life. On one hand, it is maddening to go through these lows sometimes. I hate feeling that weight pressing down on my chest. But, it is encouraging to know that if I am looking for God in this, I can find Him and see that He is using this for a reason. I don't know I feel the way I feel sometimes; maybe it is simply the way God made me, something I will battle throughout my life.

Clarification: I don't feel like this all the time. When I say it might be something I battle throughout my life, I mean that this goes in cycles for me. There was a time at the beginning of the summer when I could barely sleep and felt extremely out of place. But, I endured it and it was an amazing summer once I dealt with that. I am sure this post makes no sense to anyone besides my mom or dad. Regardless, I felt like I needed to write this and get it off my chest.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i think i can relate. Sometimes i feel great, everything seems to be going smooth, and i can't stop smiling. Sometimes, however, i hit these lows. I feel like i just want to crawl in my bed and be left alone. I'm not sure what sets it off. I can't figure it out. But you are right when you say times like these can bring you closer to God. I know when I'm feeling that way I cry out to God, and He is all I want to talk to. It will pass, and God has great plans for you.